Your attitude just might be my biggest barrier

Hi,

Just want to share the following abstracted from an article “Your attitude just might be my biggest barrier” from Indiana Resource Center for Autism. Happy reading…

-choon seng

Behaviors always happen for a reason. The reasons may or may not be obvious to us. They do not simply “just happen” but may be a function of a situation, a communication partner, the message that is being sent, or even a physiological need. Every human being uses behavior to communicate. Even though most of us can speak and have the ability to understand and solve problems, we often rely heavily on behaviors to express our feelings. Many of the individuals with autism spectrum disorders we support may have limited or no speech to access when they want to be left alone, or are having a rough time. Instead, they “act out” as a way of telling us.

Individuals who have autism spectrum disorders or other disabilities are faced with many challenges. One of the challenges they may face are attitudes and misconceptions regarding their behaviors. Often behaviors are looked at as something to be fixed or eliminated rather than a method for expressing feelings or desires.

To overcome this barrier, we need to

- Understand that behavior is communication and that communication is behavior. It is impossible for anyone to “not communicate”. Every human uses behavior to communicate at one time or another.

- Understand the concept of labels and how they are perceived. It is true that we use “labels” to name behaviors but unfortunately labels cause us to miss the message the behavior may be communicating. Often we may dismiss the message of the behavior by saying, “Oh, they’re just doing that for attention seeking.” In many instances, the term “attention seeking” has become a way of “devaluing the needs of people and not taking them seriously”. Perhaps it would be a better option to consider why attention is desired. Is the only time the individual receives any “meaningful” conversation and attention after they have done something which resembles “misbehavior?” Could the individual be hurt, frightened, or frustrated and wanting to tell someone? Could the individual be lonely and simply want to be noticed?

Young children in school love to receive attention and be noticed. Adults also like to receive attention. When you have called someone “just to talk,” has anyone ever told you “you need to call another time when you have something meaningful to say?” Perhaps “attention seeking” behaviors are not always wrong.

Behaviors, sometimes called “self-simulation behaviors,” may also be sensory in nature. Individuals may engage in these behaviors when they are bored, frustrated, stressed, or need to “chill out.” Most of us resort to such sensory-type behaviors however our behaviors are not obvious. We wiggle in our seats, tap our feet, chew on erasers, hum tunes, and bite our nails, to maintain attention or to calm ourselves when feeling anxious. Often when the individual with disabilities uses “self-stimulation,” we decide that we should extinguish the behavior because it is inappropriate, or make the individual stand out as very different. Perhaps we feel uncomfortable with behavior and how it might reflect on us.

By labeling people’s behavior we often feel that we have the right to act on how the behavior affects us rather than on what the person doing it might be trying to communicate. If that’s the case, maybe we should look more closely at those situations when individuals engage in sensory (self-stimulation) behaviors and instead of simply telling them to “stop” ask ourselves, “Why?” or “How can I help?” or “Does the person need help?”

We can make changes to our thinking.

Rather than discussing the behavior incident reports that everyone already knows, begin to focus on the person’s history and personality in order to get a different perspective for why some behaviors may be occurring. Share positive information as freely as “negative” information is shared. Include the individual whenever possible to get their feedback. Build on the strengths instead of creating a curriculum where each individual “majors in their deficits.” Create supportive communities for everyone by listening to the behaviors, avoiding labels, and asking, “Why” or “What can I do to help?”